Asteroid Blues

Infinity

Pre-drinks gone awry!

300 POINTS
Yu Jing
Wolfram
VS Ariadna
Death By Monkeys

It was the perfect plan. High Command had refused all essential staff leave from the mine site once the situation in Novvy Bangkok kicked off, but a date had been set for drinking, and no boring “regulations” would get in the way of a good time. After all, it isn’t every day that you have a whole 5 Hac Tao operatives in a single location, and the kinds of special operations they normally get sent on tend to be pretty isolating.

Convincing Sun Tze to figure out a plan to escape the biometric tracking in and out of the base, our likely bunch of Hac Tao knocked back a fair few whiskeys, turned off their cubes, stole some Wu Ming armour, and set out for the bar. If anyone asked who they were, they’d simply reply with some nonsense about not having one, and hopefully no one would notice.

Arriving at the scene, our gang of scoundrels discovered that they weren’t the only people from the base keen to get to the bar. One of the local Bao, in charge of security scans and personnel management, decided to take some ‘leave’ with his ‘handler’, a local Kanren. Our Bao, though – boy was he a beer snob. Harry’s Bar had been advertising that they had just been joined by a genuine Belgian brewer, who brought to Novvy Bangkok a fine selection of lambics, but our man was sceptical. Lambics had to come from Belgium – anything else was just sparkling naturally-fermented wheat-water! Along the way, they shared a drink with none other than Wild Bill himself, who decided to join them in their quest for total beer purity, and given that trouble usually followed Bill when he was three sheets to the wind, Major Lunah came along to assist as well.

Arriving at the strip together, our two parties converged, only to find a rather large group of feral werewolves had decided to try and take over the bar. They must have mis-read the sign, and thought it was Hairy’s bar… disappointing for everyone. Still, our Bao was determined to confirm the authenticity of this new brewer, as well as his beverages, and he raced on ahead of the rest of the gang. Rounding the corner heading towards the bar, he noticed the brewer in fact trying to flee the premises! Turns out, he’d made a load of promises about his beer that he couldn’t keep, given the difficulty of creating the right kind of microbial flora in space, had raided the tills in the bar and was trying to make his escape! Not so, however – two quick blasts from his shotgun later, our Bao had done his duty to beer purity by eliminating the poor “Belgian Brewer L-Host 5000” our con artist had invested in, and prepared to bore all of the werewolves to death with an in-depth account of why lambics could only ever be brewed west-southwest of Brussels, back on Earth.

The werewolves came barrelling forward, quite annoyed that the brewer was already dead before they’d got to sample his wares, and exacted a heavy toll on our forces. Moving up the left flank, McMurrough was able to cause problems, taking out our Kanren, a MadTrap, and Lunah, before the Wulver fireteam moved up to be within striking distance of my HVT.

In response to this sudden act of aggression, the party of off-duty Hac Tao in Wu Ming clothing sprung into action, sweeping across the table to challenge McMurrough and Wallace in combat. Unfortunately for them, however, they had one too many beverages before heading out, and were starting to run out of steam. Without getting a brew in them, no second wind came, and they failed to close out Wallace or any of the Wulvers, leaving themselves exposed to return fire.

The Ariadnan forces were in a strong position, but for a brief moment, it looked as though a costly mistake involving lots of troops in a tightly-packed formation was going to signal a game-winning volley of LGL fire in ARO from one of the Wu Ming. 3/5 enemies were in blast range, including Wallace, and given the close quarters of the battlefield, those grenades were going to hurt! Target numbers were calculated, and it looked like our plucky Wu Ming was going to drop grenades on the entire Ariadnan party on a 13 or less. Ammo was loaded, shots were fired, and as the dust settled… two rolls of 14 proved exactly why you shouldn’t go overboard when pre-drinking!

With my one golden opportunity lost, it didn’t take long for the Ariadnan forces to sweep out my entire Wu Ming link, and close in on Sun Tze, who elected to have a nap rather than to continue fighting despite his injuries. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour, he was able to get away once the Ariadnans had drunk their fill of faux lambic at the bar and forgotten that he was left over in the corner, slowly bleeding out. How he was going to explain the hangover to the Hac Tao when they were resurrected, he didn’t know, but what he learned from his expedition is that getting between a pack of vicious Ariadnans and their swally was a poor tactical decision indeed!

Why a race for the purest beer in Novvy Bangkok was a bad idea...

One half of my deployment
The other half of my deployment
The enemy HVT - a fraudulent brewer trying to flee the bar!
Death to beer frauds!
If only my troops could shoot straight, this would have been a glorious shot!
Sun Tze's final status - cactus!

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Ariadna
Death By Monkeys
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