Asteroid Blues


Drunk Caledonians mistake Nomads for Haqqislam

VS Nomads

Drunk Caledonians storm Cosmica HQ thinking it was Haqqislam

With the recent victory over the Haqqislam my troops and I were given leave to relax on a night on the main strip. This turned into a drinking bender as one would expect with Caledonians given freedom to drink as much as they want.

This resulted in the whole group getting kicked out of the bar at 2AM and they all started to stumble back to base. While enroute they took a detour that one of them claimed to be fast but in reality it was the wrong way completely and they ended up in the Cosmica HQ.

“What's that language i'm here?” a volunteer asks while stumbling forward walking through the Cosmica HQ while at the same time some nomad soldiers are patrolling nearby around having a casual conversation about computers.

A 45th speaks up “That must be Haqqislam! They must be invading! Lets kick their butts!”.

As the drunken Caledonian crew start to stumble over to a comms array station within the Cosmica HQ the 45ths started to charge ahead of the rest of the crew. They kept charging until they spot a group of Nomads patrolling the grounds. Being belligerent he drew his weapon and unleashed a devastating attack on two zondbots, Kriza Borac, and a zero hacker. Luckily for the nomads only one zondbot got hurt since the charging stumbling 45th was quite loud. It was shot from behind by a Reaktion and in front by the Kriza. After the first charge failed the next 45th charged in and this time targeted the Reaktion but died from the Reaktion and Kriza. The Reaktion though was unable to withstand the attack and broke. The next 45th seeing the previous two charge in and died thought that he could survive where they failed so he charged in next. With the zero and Kriza seeing these drunken fools charge in one at a time the Kriza aimed at the 45th running around the corner while the Zero was ready to jump out of the way. The Kriza landed a shot from his pistol into the shoulder of the 45 but not before the 45th shot back wounding the other Zondbot and Kriza as it charged towards the Kriza. Then as the 45th charged into the Kriza the Kriza missed its shot on the 45th while the 45th unleashed another shot dropping the Kriza and the zero. To seal the deal the 45th decided to chop off the head of the Kriza to take as a trophy while shouting “I got this big haqqislam guy! I'm going to mount its helmet on my wall!”.

At the same time the 45ths charged on the left flank McMurrough wasn't going to be outdone. Running up he turned the corner to see a Zero shooting at him while standing in front of a Transductor Zond. At this point McMurrough was thinking that something was off and he felt he knew these outfits but before that a mine behind him went off hitting him as the zero starts to pull up his rifle. This pissed him off so he did what any drunk dog-warrior would do. He pulled up his arms with a gun in each hand as he shots out killing the zero and breaking the transductor zond. With this group taken care of he charged forward until he saw the next group of enemies which consisted of a Hollow-man, Pi, and Alguacil. Again this seemed off but Pi and a hollow man shot towards him as the Aguacil jumped out of the way. Seeing two figures point their guns at him he shot at them again. McMurrough took two shots and dropped to the ground while the hollow man and Pi both dropped as well.

A scots guard decided to turn on a communications array to contact HQ and Uxia sneakily moved up the battlefield.

The Nomad security of Cosmica HQ at this point are extremely confused on why they are being attacked by a group of armed drunks. Due to the damage they have caused so far they must be dealt with. The first thing that needs to be done though is helping the fallen men. Zoe ran over to where Pi and the Hollow man was and brought them back up. After that, all of the nomads decided to prepare themselves in case any other crazy Caledonians decided to charge at them.

At this point the scots guard moved up the field where he saw a woman with a parasol. She pulled out a gun and in drunken panic he drew his SMGs and shot her down. Upon realizing he decided to activate another comms antenna to try getting in contact with HQ. With no luck the other Scots guard contacted with the Comms antenna next to him and the paramedic in the core link with the 3rd grey did the same. With 4 comms calling HQ they expected someone to answer.

While these calls were happening Uxia decided to blow up a cargo crate to really stick it to those damn Haqqislam invaders.

Hearing the explosion the Nomad forces decided to head out. A hollow man tossed down a smoke and then leaped up where he challenged the scots guard to a fight and proceeded to kill the scots guard. With the scots guard taken out the hollow man moved up and launched a pitcher near someone. The hollow man decided to figure out why they were here by hacking into their pocket communication device. Upon hacking in the Hollow man was able to identify that they had no orders to attack the Cosmica HQ but rather these soldiers had the night off from duty.

With the Nomad forces again confused on why this is happening, the Caledonian forces pushed further up with the last 45th charging around a crate where a Daktari and Grenzer were sitting. The 45th shooting while the Daktari tries to shoot the 45th back but misses. Both the Daktari and the Grenzer go down. While that happens the other scots guard charges toward the hollow man ready to fight but when they actually fight the hollow man guns down the scots guard. The rest of the Caledonia force moves up the field and sits in the middle ready to take down anyone coming at them.

With no other options left the nomads to try to kill as many Caledonia forces as possible to hopefully drive them away. The hollow man runs out trying to hurt this unarmed man who tries to dodge out of the way while a cateran and a scots guard armed with a missile launcher shoot at him. The unarmed man was unable to dodge but the hollow man as well gunned down. With the hollow man taken out the interventor hacker who is leading the security here pops up trying to take out a volunteer but was shot down the 3rd grey with an HMG.

After the Interventor was taken out HQ finally connected with “Why are you calling us from Cosmica HQ?!!? Get back here right this instant you fools!” At that moment, everyone realized that they were fighting Nomads the whole time. In a panic, the drunken fools grabbed all the unconscious men and hurried back to the battery.

And to perfectly sum up how the Caledonian's felt waking up the next day.

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