Asteroid Blues

Infinity

Checking Out Dat Bottom - A Nomad Bachelor's Party

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Nomads
Desanges
VS Tohaa
Einhorn

Prologue - Miscommunication Nation

"To the esteemed Maar-Du, I thank you for your kind words. I would have replied sooner but unfortunately a hiccough in our Quantronic servers meant that your message had been flagged and relegated to my "naughty folder". I've only had the chance to *ahem* look over that folder now.

While I am saddened to hear that you have been relieved of your duties, I would be remiss not to reply and affirm your words of solidarity. We fully intend to bite back against any aggressive thrusts against our Gorge while making sure to watch as you fend back any attempts to harass the fine Japanese Bottom entrusted to your care. Again, we Nomads are always keen to champion the interest of other smaller powers and we reiterate that we have no interest whatsoever in appropriating the Japanese Bo--"

Suddenly, a furtive looking messenger walks into the video screen and whispers something to the Commander's ears.

"They decided to take their bachelor's party where!?!?!?"

-Nomad Commander Desanges upon being informed of the Bachelor Party Incident.

~*~

"To be fair, the only difference between a Nomad raiding party and a Nomad bachelor party is their level of inebriation and even then only by thiiiiiiiiiiis much."

-Quoted from an anonymous member of Nomad High Command during the enquiry regarding the Bachelor Party Incident, a minor (and quite accidental) skirmish between members of the Tohaa Trinomial and elements of the Nomad Nation's 8 Working Angels CRRRC.

~*~

"Let's face it; if I were in the Artichokes' position, I'd have shot at them too even if I knew it was actually a bachelor's party."

-Major Alieze Etesiae, Commanding Officer of the 8 Working Angels CRRRC when asked to testify on the character of her men during the Bachelor Party Incident enquiries.

~*~

The enquiry subsequently found the events of the Bachelor Party incident to be a minor skirmish in the grand scheme of things. Further, the 8 Working Angels CRRRC's alleged involvement in Operation Pwny Express had undoubtedly earned them some leniency at least within Nomad High Command and had turned them into folk heroes of the Nomad contingent at Novvy Bangkok.

In the end, a deal was brokered in the shadows between the powers that be and only minor punishments were handed out to those involved. The hapless Tohaa patrol that had been involved in the incident were shortly seen in attendance during the wedding proper. Whether this was a punishment or not is a secret known only to those involved.

The Nomad Bachelor's Party
CrazyKoalas are notorious party animals
Our bachelor! (The Gecko pilot)
The famous SoF crashes the party!
Everyone knows Massacre can never resist an excuse to get drunk
The really confused Tohaa patrol
Vaudeville knockoff Wild Bill
Chinese knockoff Wild Bill commandeered by the Tohaa
A latecomer to the party! (Intruder reserve)

8 Working Angels CRRRC - Rogue Force Checking Out Dat Bottom aka Clarke's Stag Night

Group 1
--------
Rickety and Clarke - Gecko and Pilot/Bachelor
Ravager, Meathook, and Brian - Jaguars
Bright Lights - Transductor Zond
Lupe Balboa - Lupe
Savannah, AT and T - Moran and CrazyKoalas (party animals)
Malaikah - Intruder
Chase - Alguacil
Vaudeville Knockoff Wild Bill - Wild Bill (Gecko Pilot figure used as a proxy)

Group 2
--------
Streaker - Transductor Zond

~*~

Deployment Notes

-Nomads wins Lt. roll and chooses to go first.
-I completely forgot that we'd agreed to put Wild Bill in play so I wound up with that Group 2, which meant I also got hit by the command point for two orders. Oof.
-In retrospect, shouldn't have put the Intruder on top of the roof when her targets were on higher ground, negating the cover gained from prone.
-Lupe and the Gecko were put in a duo while the Jaguars were in a three-man Fireteam Core.
-The Gecko was the Nomad Datatracker while the Draal was the Tohaa Datatracker.

Turn 1 - Irradiate the night with your last chance at liberty!

Like most disasters, it had been Lupe's idea. The Nomads had been drinking, celebrating Clarke's impending marriage when the Alguacil Vortex had casually mentioned the Japanese Bottom and how if the name was any indication they were likely to find an extra good time there.

"Who knows," she cackled wickedly. "It might even be the type of bottom looking for someone to seme the fuck out of it," she finished, making Ravager blush a bright red.

So the Nomad contingent set out with the man of the hour riding Rickety because when you're this drunk, casually bringing a TAG into a party seemed like an incredible idea...at least until they stumbled into the Tohaa patrol that had turned from confused to rather alarm in two seconds flat. Shots were fired, shots were drank. Confusion all around.

Bring out the fireworks!
The Koalas on the prowl looking for someone to bang.
Shooting through smoke!

Top of 1

-The Gecko/Lupe duo breaks out of cover and turns the Chinese Wild Bill into paste with a panzerfaust.
-The Jaguar link moves up and throws smoke. The Intruder then proceeds to down the Gao-Rael. The smoke was a bad call in retrospect, as the only shooter in LoS was the Gao-Rael who also had MSV2 so those were orders wasted.
-The Moran walks closer to cover the antenna on the rightmost flank with his koalas before proceeding to put them into sentry mode.
-Without orders thanks to the first turn use of command points by Einhorn, the duo is forced to stand out in the open.

Bottom of 1

-The Kerail Preceptor charges. Its Symbiobeasts manage to down the Gecko and Wild Bill. The template blasts succeeds at taking out the Intruder alongside Wild Bill but this comes at the cost of the Symbiobeasts. The Preceptor then proceeds to hide near the leftmost antenna.

Tohaa dogs breathe out nanotech. :(
More dog breath managing to take out the Bachelor's ride.

Turn 2 - The Wild Ride High Five Night Slide

"Woah!" Clarke mumbled, as he dangled on his harness. His TAG was just showing a flurry of red lights and warning signs, and he stumbled out. This wasn't the first time he'd crashed the TAG while drunk, probably won't be the last time either if he had a say. Either way, there were still those artichokes showing him a good time, and well...

"Best Stag Night ever!" he shouted out loud, as he whipped out both pistols and staggered into the night.

Top of 2
-The Operator slides out of the wreck of the Gecko and proceeds to go to town on the Kerail.
-With the Kerail out of the way, the Gecko Pilot then proceeds to activate the leftmost antenna, revealing the closest HVT to be a decoy before shooting the decoy down.
-The Moran attempts to take on the Draal but loses the engagement instead.

Bottom of 2
-The Tohaa triad at the center pushes forward and engages the Jaguars. They manage to active the center antenna and take down the Gecko Pilot, as well as take out the Jaguar link leader.

The Tohaa secure the center.

Turn 3 - If you work hard and sacrifice then you'll find true love!

"Umm...the Nomads are retreating," one of the baffled Tohaa reported.

"What the hell was that even about? It didn't even seem like they had an objective," the Tohaa lieutenant muttered, as he cautiously walked forward to get a better look at the scene. "And what was that they were yelling? Paaaaaaartayh?"

"Must be some weird Nomad code, sir."

"Yes, well they're a tricksy lot so be care--"

"Threeeeeeeeesome!" was the last thing the poor Tohaa lieutenant heard as he was sandwiched between two CrazyKoalas. The rest of the patrol winced.

"That's it, we're done here," they said, as they wisely decided to let a more prepared Tohaa contingent clean up the aftermath.

Top of 3

-Lupe and a Jaguar manages to take out two out of three models in the link but otherwise fails to secure the center.
-One of the Transductor Zond positions itself to try to ARO anyone making an attempt on the rightmost antenna.

Bottom of 3
-The Sakiel Lieutenant sacrifices itself to clear the Koalas.
-This allows the Draal to walk towards the last antenna and make a last minute bid for control. The Transductor misses and the Draal manages to activate a second antenna. With two antennas controlled and their datatracker alive, the Tohaa manages a Turn 3 win.

Lupe hulking out.
Brian charges out!
The Tohaa Lieutenant's wild night.
The Tohaa pulls a last second win.

Kill More Enemy Decoys - Nomads 1 pt.
Have Your Designated Target Not Killed - Nomads/Tohaa 1 pt. ea.
More Activated Consoles - Tohaa 2 pts.
Have Your Datatracker not Killed - Tohaa 1 pt.

Nomads - 2 pts.
Tohaa - 4 pts.

Game Notes

-Einhorn and I have been tired this week so we've slipped a bit in terms of picture taking and the report itself isn't as involved as what I usually write but still fun.
-Really should have remembered Wild Bill, having those two extra orders would have been a big deal.
-In retrospect, should have been more aggressive and ARO'd the Symbiobeasts on the approach with my Intruder rather than let it get so close. Should have also just declared dodge with my Intruder rather than hold but oh well. I'll know to watch out for that unit next time.

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