Asteroid Blues

Given the mess that occurred at the mines, I made the decision that we needed to return an old “friend” back into active duty. Unfortunately he was proving difficult to contact, however I was able to call in a few favors from some Tunguskan allies who informed me the unsavory rouge had been spending all his time partying in some backwater Bakunin pit. Toadette volunteered for the mission because of her links to the target and, as a former Riot Grrl, I’d hoped she would be able to transverse the Nomad area undisturbed. Unfortunately things did not work out that way.

Toadette led the Toad Brigade and the brothers into Bakunin territory backed up by the Al Fasid codenamed “Poison”. In addition I ask an ally I had in the area to follow them and provide aid if anything went awry. I now owe a favor to her Hylian Robotics company, but Lady Zelda was more than happy to provide assistance. Once inside Nomad territory the Brigade met with an informant who helped them track down our man. That fat man was flanked by some Yuan Yuan Paragoombas whom he sent away once he recognized Toadette. I’ve included bellow a transcript of the encounter.

Toadette: There you are old man. What, did you start screening our calls?

Wario: Yer boss might have bought a large share of my company, but that don’t mean she owns me. Nobody owns me, and I got stuff goin’ on.

The corpulent biker stuck a finger up his nose, rooted around, and then flicked what he pulled out off his finger.

Toadette: Yeah, you seem real busy. Come on, we’ve got a job for you.

Wario: Wahaha! She must be getting desperate. What’s the pay?

Toadette threw a bag at Wario. He greedily opened the bag and smiled at the contents.

Toadette: That’s for coming with us. There’s another one for every job you do for us on this rock.

Wario: Alright we’re in. But ya are gonna need to help us out first.

Toadette: Help you out with what?

As if in answer to her question, a booming sound is heard from the north of the group, followed shortly by the whistling of a missile traveling in the direction of the brigade

Wario: That.

Fortunately the missile didn’t hit anyone, and our troops scattered into nearby buildings. The team's Lu Duan activated its holoprojector to appear as a simple baggage bot, and placed itself in a window. Wario just responded by burping in the direction of the shot and revving his engine.
The shot was fired by a detachment of Riot Grrls, being lead into battle by a Task Master. A quick scan of the area also picked up a nearby REM with an Evo hacking device, a Reverend Custodier, a Moderator, and the informant who had given Wario’s position away.

The nun started to make her way up the battlefield towards the primary building our forces had secured. She spotted the Lu Duan, but as it was disguised she seemed to considered it to be a non-issue, stepping directly into its line of fire. The Lu Duan opened fire on the startled nun but shot wide, missing her. While this was happening, the Riot Grrls shifted position to get a better shot on our building prompting Zelda to come out of her hidden location and attempt to isolate the missile launcher. This hack failed as well, but even with both attacks failing the opponent moments were heavily restricted.
Wario noticed some moments in the far distance as the Taskmaster moving forward, and threw a smoke grenade that SHOULD have covered himself and Luigi but either his pack of Smoke grenades contained a lot of duds, or he simply forgot to pull the pin. The Taskmaster set his Crazykoalas, and then reloaded his supply from the nearby Evo Hacker. After this the Reverend, the Evo Hacker and a camouflaged Zero we hadn’t noticed before started to move in a coordinated action, the Lu Duan fired wide on the reverend once again, while Wario threw another dud smoke grenade. The three enemy hackers coordinated a hacking assault on Zelda, taking her out of commission for the remainder of the battle. With her out of the way, the Riot Grrl team attempted to launch a missile at Luigi in our primary building, but because of the restricted range of the battlefield, neither their missile launcher nor our sniper rifle could hit. The Riot team then moved further up the field, sadly taking out our Bakunin informant with a spitfire along the way.

Wario, sick of waiting around, charged towards the Riot team. He was injured, but didn’t seem to really mind. Meanwhile the Paragoombas that Warrio sent off earlier descended on the battlefield. One of them ran in behind his boss to back him up, and the other miscalculated her airdrop and landing directly in the middle of the field of Crazykoalas. I do not recommend anyone look into footage of this part of the battle. What one Koala does to a body his horrible enough, but after four…. Well, it’s not a pretty sight.
Wario and Paragoomba laid a thick cloud of smoke down, which Luigi was able to take advantage of using his multispectral visor. The Toad Brigade walked into the smoke, Luigi firing 3 rending shots which hit the Taskmaster, putting him down for the count. After removing that issue he continued walking through the smoke and began to pick off the Riot Grrls, removing the missile launcher from the equation and knocking down a second one. The brigade continued up the battlefield, securing an antenna. Pink Toad rounded the corner and fired a total of 10 shots from his HMG at the enemy informant, taking her down. Unfortunately Toadette wound up being isolated from her fireteam during this, as the pit they were fighting in was full of repeaters.

Without their Lieutenant the Bakunin forces scrambled to maintain some cohesion. The three remaining Riot Grrls moved up to the Brigade. The shotgun Grrl walked out into the open and fired on the back of Luigi, knocking him unconscious. Pink Toad and Wario attempted to shoot her, but any bullets that hit pinged off her armor. She then turned her attention to Pink Toad, taking him down as well while still not taking any damage. While this was going on, the Zero circled around the other side firing shots at Toadette and knocking her down.
Wario charged directly into the shotgun RiotGrrl, crushing her under the tires of his bike while her shotgun shells seemingly bounced off him. Not wanting to stop, Wario curved around the center building, throwing smoke to block shots from the remaining Grrls, and charged directly into the Reverend, also crushing her with his bike. Meanwhile the Lu Duan was able to easily pick off the Zero and stop him from being a problem, and our team doctor, Leaf, had her bot run out wake Toadette up.

The Spitfire RiotGrrl decided she would make her final stand here. Stepping out and killing both Wario and the Paragoomba in spray of bullets. She then jumped up onto a rock and laid several rounds of fire down, taking out a few of our REMs and Toadette.
Having his first clear shot of the game, and now being free of hackers, Poison stood up and unleashed an HMG Barrage at the Riot Grrl, taking her down.
At this point any remaining enemies backed off and we were able to extract our team.

I’m not sure what Wario did to anger the Bakunin command, but at a guess I’d say he stole something from them… Regardless, we’ve got him now, and we will position him on the strip to protect defend our territory. I’ll have to contact Bakunin command and attempt to prevent them from continuing the assault on him.

Yours Truly, Lady Toadstool, Myriostoma LLC CEO and leader of the Toadstool Company
-Peach